As I gazed at the serene night sky where the twinkle of its gaseous emeralds was overshadowed by the harsh, artificial street lamps, I felt the dark “nothingness” enveloping my soul; gently strumming the train of thoughts which I deliberately kept concealed in the recesses of my mind. Slowly & painfully, the haunting voices of the past weeks came creeping back. “Crazy Arabs”, “Islam is a violent religion”, “Mohammed (PBUH) was inhumane”, “Sudanese children dying”,” Bombings in God knows where”, “Jihad this, Murder that…..”STOP, PLEASE, STOP.
With tears stinging my eyes, an encumbered heart and the weight of the world resting inexorably on my sagging shoulders, I retreated to my abstract haven: Praying. My utterance of the blessed words “Allahu Akbar” (God is the greatest), which signals the beginning of our prayer, caused a tremor that shook me to my core. As I proceeded, the asphyxiating load on my being gradually began to slip away, leaving me wracking with uncontrollable sobs- the result of accumulated hurt from what I had to endure those past months.
I finished my supplication, feeling grateful for unloading my burden onto my creator. Then, lost in rumination, I wondered: On the day I stand before his Graciousness, is he going to ask me:
Where were you when the multitude of Palestinians died at the hands of the IDF? What did you do on 9/11? Did you celebrate or pray for the victims? What have you done for your country? Where were you when the Darfur war broke out? How did you react when the Danish people mocked your Prophet (PBUH)? Did you preposterously burn the Danish embassy? Where were you when the Pope insulted the Prophet (PBUH)? Did you kill your Christian neighbour? Have you advised those Muslims who misinterpreted the Quranic verses for selfish gains? Did you contribute in promoting the message of Islam? Did you stand up for the truth? (To name but a few)
I am agonizing now and if these tears & hurt are the keys to my redemption, then let me suffer. Let me suffer for that child who was mercilessly killed and whom I could have saved. Let me cry for my sister who was raped and whom I could have helped. Let me suffer for my brother who was tortured and imprisoned and whom I could have helped. Let me cry for all those who have lost their homes or their lives or their loved ones or their lands and whom I could have helped, somehow, by either speaking up for the injustice or by donating or by fighting for their rights.
I snap back & laugh at my shallowness and at the trivialities which I unnecessarily cram my head with on a daily basis.Huh and I thought not having gone shopping for a long time or being stressed at work were a calamity. How ironic!!!! There are millions out there, encountering Mr. Death everyday; millions who are living in poverty & who don’t know what Baskin Robbins is; millions who are suffering at the hands of oppressors & I can’t wait to go to the movies next week!!!! I’m busy reading Stephen King while Islam is being exploited by radicals and simultaneously being assaulted by many non-Muslims.Huh!!!!!!
So, allow me to remind myself and my Muslim families: We are in dire need of a mental & educational revolution (a reformation of epic proportions), anger management classes, in depth courses in all religions (especially ours), history and the art of diplomacy. As Andrew Young stated: “The Mind is a powerful weapon. Our emotions tend to turn off the thought processes, don’t get mad. Get smart”. Violence, unless necessary, breeds violence & doesn’t achieve anything. I am livid at the US’s foreign policy and Israel’s atrocities but you know what, our greatest threat is our dictator govts, ignorance & passivity. Wow, we have a lot of enemies: Our corrupt systems (many of which are in the name of Sharia law & who are, to an extent, ruining our lives), the fundamentalists (again in the name of Islam) and the many Western countries (who hate us & regard us as lunatic, uncouth, suicide bombers & many of whom wish to have a bite of our riches).
May Allah empower us & wake us up from this disillusionment. May Allah help us overcome our weaknesses & fears. May Allah bless us with the wisdom to see through our vanity and master the courage to defend our religion the appropriate way even if it has to be against maleficent Muslims.
I’m exhausted and drained. All I wish for & seek is a peaceful world & happiness for humanity. I know being idealistic is fruitless but I can’t help it!!!!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
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10 comments:
Dear, you write in such strong colours, even when you rant. Amazing. If it had rhyme I'd put music to it.
One thing though "when the Danish people mocked your Prophet (PBUH)"
As a Dane, I must object that. The Danish people as such NEVER mocked the Prophet (PBUH). One -one- rogue newspaper challenged the Muslim minority to respect "our" tradition for satire and free press (as the paper put it) the whole thing got out of hand.
I'd really, really like to discuss this topic with you. There's so much misunderstanding, also this Pope-business (luckily he doesn't speak for me)
Other than that, don't despair. You're one human, can't carry the whole world on your shoulders.
"As I proceeded, the asphyxiating load on my being gradually began to slip away, leaving me wracking with uncontrollable sobs- the result of accumulated hurt from what I had to endure those past months.
You did the right thing. Transformed your hurt into this beautiful post rather than submit to hate.
"being idealistic is fruitless"
remember the verse about planting a tree even if the world is at end ?
Bless you
HalalHippie, always a pleasure to read your comments.
"As a Dane, I must object that. The Danish people as such NEVER mocked the Prophet (PBUH). One -one- rogue newspaper challenged the Muslim minority to respect "our" tradition for satire and free press (as the paper put it) the whole thing got out of hand."
My bad!! I didn't mean to generalize.
Looking forward to discussing both issues with you.One point though: Many non-Muslims fail to comprehend that the satire of our Prophet(PBUH)is indisputably uncalled-for.Similarly, many Muslim's absurd reactions were/are uncalled-for.We couldve demonstarted our indignance in much more suitable & dignified ways.
Thankx for your kind & comforting words.Hate decays the soul & as Drima said, it's best that one channels anger & frustration into something positive & constructive:D
Bless you & regrards to your daughter:)))
Humans suffer. S'what they do best. It's fairly useless to tear yoursef apart because of it. There is, of course, a very good reason to stop human suffering - a suffering human tends to spread that suffering around. Eventually it gets to you, in one way or another...
But bugger that. As much as I want to chalenge your Israel/PA view, I'd rather give you a bit of free Raccoonish advice...
Go out into the desert. By yourself if you can - just grab water and food (I reckon booze or weed are not your cuppa :) ). And... be in the desert. There's nothing to remind you how tiny, abysmally unimportant and frail you are than a huge bloody emptiness on which you have zero effect... and which is incredibly powerful and uncaring.
The sky also looks different out there... don't know if you ever go out into the desert at night to watch the stars, but it's bloody hypnotic and humbling in its infinity.
Hmmm, you might want to read this:
http://imshin.net/?p=448
It can give you an... interesting perspective.
"It's fairly useless to tear yoursef apart because of it."
Yea, I know.Life goes on but reflecting on such things makes you humble & grateful.Plus, we need to help out each other in the best way we can:)
Thankx for your Racoonish advice & Red Bull is as far as I can go in terms of being " High";))) I've never been to the desert(I love hitting the beach at night though)but ama try it.
As for the Pali/Isaeli conflict, you are not going to tell me that the IDF didn't kill innocent ppl or occupied the West Bank & Gaza.
Anyway, I'll chk out the link.
Thankx
ps: This may be off topic but I would like to know more about Eris & Discordianism.
He has lost it, a religious icon to Catholics following medialogic probagandas. Danish cartoonist was secular Christian.
The pope does not look back to answering request of Germanic Jews to stop the holocaust!
Church then was money powered and still is. Who paid "indulgences" for heaven admission?
Salah Eldeen Al Ayuby is not viewed as a hero for leading Islam [new upcoming religion to them @ the time]. 13 is unlucky because Islam reached victory against Crusade Christian extremists, forcing muslims to convert with sword.
Iraq is said to be a continuation of Crusade wars by president G.W.Bush.
She is the Goddess of Discord, Chaos, and Confusion. The most notorious case of direct intervention by her is the Trojan War.
The basis of Discordianism is the assertion that too much seriousness rots the world. Seriousness causes Statis, which promotes entropy and brings about the end of the Universe (sure, it might take a few trillion years... but that's not a reason to hasten it! :) ). Laughter, mockery and nonsense are holy to Her.
There are, of course, no proper religious books of Discordianism. There is the Principia Discordia, of course, but it's as much a Discordian canon as A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare or The Good Soldier Svejk by Jaroslav Hasek. Anyway, it's right here:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/
If it doesn't make any sense or seeks like utter bullshit, it possibly is. But then again, it may the answer to "What is the sound of playing on a metal flute with no holes?", also known as "How do monks die?".
Fluent Sudani, r u talking to me ? or Hipster ?
"Church then was money powered and still is. Who paid "indulgences" for heaven admission?"
which is why the reformation took place, do you know the difference btwn Catholic and Protestant ?
"Iraq is said to be a continuation of Crusade wars by president G.W.Bush."
Bush may be on a mission from God. But plz count me out. I don't wanna convert you, do you wana convert me ?
Racoon: Eris looks pretty cool, and much needed, keep up the good work
Raccoon, thankx for the info.
Fluent-Sudani, bro, yup, the Pope screwed up & so are we(ie screwing up)
Red Bull is one of my favorite poisons. I don't know if the real Thai Red Bull (it comes in small medicine bottles, I have never seen it outside of Thailand) is legal in UAE (I know it's not in most of the world), but it gets you pretty high for about 12 hours. Wooooo-hoooo! :)
About IDF killing innocent people - it happens when you wage war in urban environment. It doesn't happen on purpose, though, and IDF goes to great pains (causing IDF soldiers to get killed or injured) to avoid that.
And yes, IDF has captured West Bank and Gaza... from Trans-Jordan and Egypt, respectively, in a war they initiated. These two states later disavowed this territory, so it's not occupied according to international law or any precedent in history. They can have it back (sans the strategically vital high points)... but they don't want to. Moreover, had they got back this territory, there would be a bloodbath to drawf Hama, Black September and Tiananmen Square rolled into one.
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